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Alex “Milf Shake” Hilden

Nickname: Milf Shake
Hometown: Unknown, but spent most of his childhood in Minneapolis
Eye Color: Bluish-green; the same color as the scales of the Loch Ness Monster.
Go-to-spike: Respectable.
Height: About this tall.
Major: Undeclared, but leaning towards Mathematics, Philosophy, and Milf Shaking.
     The story of Alexander “Milf Shake” Hilden is an interesting one, to say the least.  His name became known in the town of Minneapolis when he managed to seduce Thuy Trang, best known for her role as the yellow Power Ranger, when she made a visit to the city.  Quite impressive for a lad of only eight years.
     While well known for his academic prowess during the pre-teen years, more curious was his relative lack of height.  Though he would later become famous for his lankiness, rivaling the height of his elder, Shamiracle Johnson, his early years were tormented by squattiness.
     Middle school was relatively uneventful for Milf Shake, with two exceptions.  It was during this time that he obtained his first nickname, “Hilden.”  While unoriginal, it was used to differentiate him from the other three Alex’s in the grade.  He would later go on to kill all three of his competitors.  The second event was the introduction to his current lover, whom he would not start dating for another six years.
     During high school, the now-named Hilden would be driven away from his destiny by the devilish sport known as Cross Country running.  While it was not his true calling, he did study under Boukai Zhao, from whom he learned most of his current respectable tendancies.  He also gained most of his height during this time period.
    It was during his orientation into Oberlin College, however, that the deity known as Milf Shake would truly begin to form.  After tossing with some elder frisbee players, a transformation happened.  The sky darkened, and thunder rolled.  Milf Shake’s hair stood on end, and a chill ran down his spine.  This was his calling, and he would go on to play frisbee for the rest of his college career.
    And, of course, the rest is history.
One Comment leave one →
  1. Kayla permalink
    May 1, 2012 2:02 am

    What a dashing photograph!

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